A few months ago, my friend and I were driving on Dixie Highway down here is South Florida. We were searching for a used furniture store. I had just moved into my new apartment and was hoping to find inexpensive furniture, as I had none.
I was driving my truck and she was in the passenger seat. This section of Dixie is two lanes with the turn lane in the middle. As I was driving I was distracted by something sitting in the turn lane. It took a few moments for my brain to processes that it was an iguana. Iguanas are very overpopulated in South Florida. In fact my county is trying to pass an ordinance in which people who purchase iguanas have to pay a $100 license fee to discourage the whimsical purchase of a lizard. Since it rarely gets below 60 degrees down here, there isn't much that will naturally kill these huge lizards, but I digress.
Okay where was I? Oh yes, I had just determined that the large thing in the middle turn lane was a lizard. It had to be 3 to 4 feet long with its body and tail. I am thinking to myself "I hope this thing doesn't run in front of my truck." Almost simultaneously my friend, Kim, states "Oh look at the pretty lizard." At that instance, the stupid iguana runs out in front of my truck!
There's no breaking at this point, as I'd be rear ended. It's us or the lizard. Naturally I chose us. I just start screaming, gripped the steering wheel, and plowed right over the thing. After we feel and hear a slight "bump bump" I quickly look in my rear view mirror.
Kim is screaming "Did you hit it? Did you hit it?" To my amazement the lizard is on the side of the road. It lived! It's tail, however was another story. It was flopping in the middle of the road. If you've ever seen a snake with it's head chopped off and it's body still writhing, then you know what I saw this iguana's tail doing. (We'll discuss how I've seen a snake in that condition another day.)
"It's alive!" I yell, granted the iguana is staring at disbelief at its tail and then at my truck. If it could have given me the middle finger it would have. Now Kim and I are in hysterics. I'm laughing and crying so hard I can't see where I'm going. I was so relieved I didn't kill it but mortified I chopped off its whole tail. Kim is in a similar state telling me she's never seen anyone run over an iguana (apparently she doesn't know me all that well yet). Then we start pondering if iguanas tails grow back once removed. I know the little green lizards grow them back but they're tiny compared to their iguana cousins.
In the midst of my tears Kim dubs me "The Great White Lizard Hunter." A name she has fondly referred to me ever since. I think we laughed for a full hour before the tears subsided. Kim was still in awe that I had run over a lizard. To me it's just an average day with an extraordinary event it. That's my norm, right?
I was driving my truck and she was in the passenger seat. This section of Dixie is two lanes with the turn lane in the middle. As I was driving I was distracted by something sitting in the turn lane. It took a few moments for my brain to processes that it was an iguana. Iguanas are very overpopulated in South Florida. In fact my county is trying to pass an ordinance in which people who purchase iguanas have to pay a $100 license fee to discourage the whimsical purchase of a lizard. Since it rarely gets below 60 degrees down here, there isn't much that will naturally kill these huge lizards, but I digress.
Okay where was I? Oh yes, I had just determined that the large thing in the middle turn lane was a lizard. It had to be 3 to 4 feet long with its body and tail. I am thinking to myself "I hope this thing doesn't run in front of my truck." Almost simultaneously my friend, Kim, states "Oh look at the pretty lizard." At that instance, the stupid iguana runs out in front of my truck!
There's no breaking at this point, as I'd be rear ended. It's us or the lizard. Naturally I chose us. I just start screaming, gripped the steering wheel, and plowed right over the thing. After we feel and hear a slight "bump bump" I quickly look in my rear view mirror.
Kim is screaming "Did you hit it? Did you hit it?" To my amazement the lizard is on the side of the road. It lived! It's tail, however was another story. It was flopping in the middle of the road. If you've ever seen a snake with it's head chopped off and it's body still writhing, then you know what I saw this iguana's tail doing. (We'll discuss how I've seen a snake in that condition another day.)
"It's alive!" I yell, granted the iguana is staring at disbelief at its tail and then at my truck. If it could have given me the middle finger it would have. Now Kim and I are in hysterics. I'm laughing and crying so hard I can't see where I'm going. I was so relieved I didn't kill it but mortified I chopped off its whole tail. Kim is in a similar state telling me she's never seen anyone run over an iguana (apparently she doesn't know me all that well yet). Then we start pondering if iguanas tails grow back once removed. I know the little green lizards grow them back but they're tiny compared to their iguana cousins.
In the midst of my tears Kim dubs me "The Great White Lizard Hunter." A name she has fondly referred to me ever since. I think we laughed for a full hour before the tears subsided. Kim was still in awe that I had run over a lizard. To me it's just an average day with an extraordinary event it. That's my norm, right?
